Christmas is weird. Not a unique, avant-garde, nonconformist, eccentric, freethinking, unorthodox, quirky, bohemian, revolutionary, unpredictable, perpetually creative kind of weird like you are—but a sort of freakishly hyper-decorated, dementedly elaborate, emotionally incapacitating, disturbingly overenthusiastic, ominously bloated, annihilate-the-ecosystem-it’s-great-for-the-economy kind of weird. Have an appropriately weird Christmas!

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