Makarovka

Too much of a good thing is a very, very good thing.

Ohai, I'm Andrew. :3 Once upon a time I had a really awesome description here, but then a couple of obsessive stalkers ruined it for everybody. But w/e. My name is Andrew Papenheim, and if you call me Andy I will start throwing stuff at you. Ofcourse, I am also a celebrated weakling, so you don't have much to fear. I have a younger brother/personal secretary, two actual, 4srs parents who are on a mission to combat fun, and a whole busload of extended family (cousins and whatnot) who I'm far too tired to mention right now. I like cats, at least I hope so because I have one. I don't talk much, but that's because I hate my voice and am plagued with social awkwardness. Most of the blood in my body has probably been replaced by Diet Coke. I realize that aspartame is killing me, but so does genetically modified corn so shove it. :D My hair is pretty awesome sometimes. I hear it's insured for $10,000. (Anyone who gets that joke has a serious problem :p) But most of the time, my hair is just like the rest of me and fairly unphotogenic. I listen to a lot of bad music. If you also listen to Sleigh Bells on a ghetto blaster, you should message me rn. Even though this bio is incredibly shitty, I'm actually a writer (I know, right?) and a bad photographer. (I know, right?) I live in the faraway, backwards land of Wisconsin. Oh, and I'm not a farm boy. Tractors scare me. I detest where I live, and take every given opportunity to tell people what a stifling, hypocritical, redneck podunk I was born into. I enjoy watching Weeds and spending money. I am the most authentic person on earth, I write all of my whiney blog posts abt buzzbands and lomography in helvetica interspaced with galaxies and triangles. I only smoke vegan cigarettes and bleed fairtrade blood. But I'm actually just a really fucked up kid, who will always give you much more than you bargained for. Oh, and I don't want to talk about god, politics, weight loss, or how diet coke is killing me with you, ok? Awesome :3

tl;dr I'm Andrew. Imma cat and I like Diet Coke. Meow.