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Badly Injured Man Not Done Partying Yet


Notes

Veteran partier Dean Winchester announced his intentions to continue partying late Saturday evening, assuring onlookers that the multiple injuries he had sustained over the previous six hours did not require medical attention, and were not severe enough to prematurely end the festivities.

Despite the fact that Dean had twice fallen more than eight feet onto his shoulder while attempting to walk along the front-porch banister, the hunter appeared resolute in his commitment to continue consuming alcohol, singing, dancing, and hitting empty beer cans like baseballs with the tube of an old vacuum cleaner.

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Description and annotations are all from various Onion articles


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