You're an intern at Night Vale Community Radio, and so far it's pretty cool. The soda machine in the break room sometimes gives you snakes and boxes full of glass instead of a drink, you've almost fallen into the bottomless pit near the bathrooms twice this week, and you've watched at least 5 other interns die or be somehow massively altered in a way that renders their consciousness unknowable and their physical bodies destroyed, but that's just life right? Now, stop screaming. Make a cup of coffee. You have work to do.

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