on April 06, 2017

We're decades away from being able to develop a sociopathic supercomputer that could enslave mankind, but artificial intelligence experts are already working to stave off the worst when -- not if -- machines become smarter than people.

Look, we’re not here to denounce the awesome powers of the modern computer. Without them, we’d be reduced to communicating this very message via smoke signals, and our entire company would be little more than a convoluted karaoke/telephone game/Meals-on-Wheels hybrid. But our point is, there are just some things a machine can’t do as well as a human. For example…

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Exhibit C:

And there’s no clearer example of mankind’s superiority over machinery than a finely crafted 8tracks playlist. Each one is a unique look into the mind of its creator, a virtual living, breathing expression of humanity in its purest essence.

We’re here to sing the praises of our talented, tireless, tasteful DJs who prove every single day that a computer algorithm can’t hold a candle to a well-tuned set of ears when it comes to creating the ideal sonic experience. And to back up this brazen claim, we proudly present the following collection of playlists, which definitively illustrates humankind’s victory over the cold machines:

Still not convinced? What if we told you that each of the selections found below was genetically matched to your specific DNA, blood type, and neurological frequency to induce maximum aural pleasure?