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i ruined myself to be close to you.


to my friend, obsession, to the most important and, toxic person in my life
i hate you, but i will love you forever.
it's weighing on me.
(i just want to fuck you more than anyone i guess)
i don't love you. not like that. but i will make myself believe i do
we will never exist together. i can't exist without you.
i want to let go of you. i don't,
i need to. i won't.
both proud, both strongheaded. we will never make it.
i don't want to.
i wish i could let go of you.
i don't need you, i need myself.
fuck you.
i can't feel anything towards anyone except you.
(-i only miss you when you're not around.)
(your eyes are so empty.)
(you're not yourself. i hate you for that.)
i'm angry. we will never be friends again,
we'll never be innocent again.

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