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I was a survivor long before any of you tried saving me


I started seizing at my desk and everybody started saying how they should put something in my mouth, until some genius reads the card on my key ring which tells them not to because it could break my teeth. Do you know what happens next? I piss myself. And they start laughing… You know, the only good thing about seizures was that I never remembered them, until some brilliant jerkoff had to go and put cameras into everybody’s phones. But look at me now

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