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I forget where she wrote it, but Virginia Woolf once wrote that as soon as one attempts to point at the soul, it has already fled, like a shadow in the face of a flashlight.

11 tracks
8 comments on but is it art

ok where was i, rocket ship: that does sound like a cool thesis, how do you even go about starting to translate an ancient latin poem. Do you think someone, eons from now, will write a thesis based off translating some random book report you wrote? I'd be flattered. I'll unblock you on snapchat, I hope it doesn't spook you. You'll probably come right here as soon as you see that. "Wa- is that- does that mean he- oh nooooo". I actually do still think about you pretty often. Just little things like "How's Rob doing?" "Does he still hate me?" " Rob would've found this funny", it's weird how habitual thoughts like that don't go away. Obviously I took the time to get to the end of the mix. I was real excited when I saw you posted something new. I wish 8tracks didn't go down the drain as a music sharing platform. I'm concerned for you now though. You must be going out of your mind staying in all day reading ancient literature. I hope you're doing alright during finals week right now too. Unless your finals are already over, I dunno. I still have genetics aND evolution Monday. Then I can come home Tuesday. Sorta feels like everything's falling apart, I still don't know what I want to do after college, that's sort of concerning. Please don't kill yourself, though. I've always felt that you have an important contribution to make to the world. You're someone who's passionate about learning in a way that, to this day, I still haven't seen in another person. And you've always been unique and outstanding as a person. I wish you weren't plagued with depression and loneliness, I feel like if you were unhindered, you're the type of person who could accomplish virtually anything.

As I was saying, I still considered you just a really intelligent person with a strict moral compass. I always considered you a positive, guiding sort of influence in my life. Even when I wouldn't take your advice, which was right most of the time. My mom literally would nOT stop asking about you. "Where's Rob?" "Why don't you guys hang out anymore???" "I miss Rob". I told her roughly the same thing, that we just sort of grew apart in college and became different people. I think the mistakes we made were essential learning experiences. Ah okay so you did study abroad, that's awesome!! I'm really happy you went through with that and actually had a great time. I like how casually you slipped in "Yeah I taught myself Italian, no big deal". You're ridiculous. I'll give you a mini update too. The last correspondence i remember having with you was on your birthday in the summer when we had already stopped talking but I still sent a happy birthday text. That night was like, the closest I'd ever been to killing myself to be honest. I was taking summer classes at Arcadia but had no friends and didn't pay for housing because it was expensive so I was sleeping in my car and oh man, bad time. But tHEN JUNIOR YEAR, junior year was tHE best. I got back together with that girl Nicole who broke my heart like three times in the past but it was fine and we dated for like 8 months. My roommates that semester were really great too. Great friends, a relationship, I got my own car, everything was fantastic out of nowhere. Then I was like "yknow what would make this all even bETTER? let's study abroad in AUSTRALIA" and that decision, followed by a series of domino decisions ruiined everything. Australia blows, aussies blow, kangaroos blow, and koalas are a myth. I got put into the biggest fucking party dorm in the universe. Literally people threw mattresses out of windows and shit. And Im still a good noodle who doesn't drink or smoke so trying to socialize at parties was A TIME. I couldn't make any friends because I just can't socialize in that sort of environment and I quickly entered a really really deep depression. In this state I started pushing away Nicole until she eventually broke up with me, so then I sunk even deeper into depression. I dealt with that by playing an embarrassing amount of Minecraft and trying to get myself killed in nature. Good things about australia: I was taught how to box by a short asian boy named (I shit you not) Jackie Chen and now I really like boxing. I learned how to sail and that was really really good. I learned how to deap sea dive and I went on this 5 day diving trip on a liveaboard ship out on the great barrier reef and uNF, that was the best time of my life. Everything else was terrible though. I only talked to Devin, Bell, and my friend Maggie from arcadia (you met her, i don't know if you still remember her). When I got home I'd developed feelings for Maggie so I asked her out and we've been dating since July 4th, she's really nice. When I got back from Australia it took a while to relearn how to socialize. I'm still studying Biology, I got the second highest grade on my organic chemistry final exam a few days ago and I'm still riding that high.

Hey, I happened to stumble upon this a few months late but I'm pretty excited about it. I'm gonna respond to the annotations one by one in real time. It sounds like you were, or maybe still are, in a real shitty place, I'm sorry about that. The Front Bottoms still remind me of you real well. I actually just saw McCafferty live in Philly like, last week! Chris kept talking before songs and making dumb jokes so I yelled the "I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD CHRIS" thing at him and he was like "whatever, man" and I really embarrassed the person I was with but it was awesome. Reminded me of how loud and boisterous I'd act around you while you'd roll your eyes but also laugh. I really tried to keep up with Spanish a few more times but it never stuck. I even tried getting my mom to only speak in Spanish around me, and I tried keeping a notebook like you would and listening to Spanish songs but it just didn't work. I think my brain's just not as language-oriented as yours. I'm picking up a lotta ironic japanese phrases lately though. Have you watched My Hero Academia? It's sO GOod. Yes, I can hear your voice while I read these, I still have real distinct memories of what you sound with and speech mannerisms and such. I'm not really sure what substantial part you had in the falling out, I thought it was virtually all me. I don't know why you're beating yourself up. I was an asshole with a lot of insecurities, little social experience, and a lot of immature, selfish habits. I still remember when you told me something like "You know those buzzfeed-esque quizzes that tell you if your friends with someone toxic? You match like, all of the criteria," and I was like "lol what, that's ridiculous." But it was probably spot on actually, I was never not terrible. I've been a lot more critical of myself since we stopped talking. I actually maintained two long term relationships and had some pretty healthy friend groups where I didn't force myself to always be the center of attention. Dude, your mixes were equally fire and don't even try to deny it. You just liked softer songs most of the time, I thought our tastes complemented each other nicely. Also I don't understand this whole annotation. I vageuly remember comparing you to Jesus? I probably literally meant that you look a little bit like him in my head. Did you actually study abroad in Spain? I hope your abroad experience was at least a good time before you got home. I went abroad to Australia and it was balls to the wall terrible. It actually fucked me up pretty badly, I'd never experienced the such extreme isolation and difficulty making friends before. It made me a lot more thankful for people I have. I'm really good friends with Devin Moran and Anabelle now actually, they really helped me out while I was overseas. I don't feel like a part of my history's broken off though. I got real into Kurt Vonnegut and his Slaughterhouse Five time ideas, how everything's just sort of happening at once. Thinking about time and memories like that is really comforting for me because it feels like we never really lose anything, it'll always exist y'know? Again, I don't really know why you think I would ever talk bad about you. I still consider you a