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Hushpuppies for Y'all

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~Chapter 1~
A Hero is Hatched

Long, long ago on a small unknown planet named Neg in the far corner of the Zulk galaxy is a continent of rugged mountains dotted with vast plains. In uncharted territory, far beyond the Morok Mountains, still further than the Punkee Plains is the rocky Gorg Mountain range. Far atop of Mora Peak, above the timberline and under 10 feet of snow there was a small cave. Inside this cave was an enormous blue dinosaur egg. In the time of the Slibby Empire the egg hatched a 400 ton cowlike dinosaur which contained in it’s stomach a mighty warrior. Upon the beasts first glimpse of life it promptly vomited our hero, who would come to be called Mighty King Arfdu. And it was recorded in the annals of thr Punkee Plains peoples that he was born with a magic sword in his left hand and some sort of energy drink in his right hand. He burst out of his cave, through the snow to escape the cowlike dinosaur which chased him down Mora Peak and continued the chase for 40 days and 40 nights. When they came out of the Gorg Mountains, Arfdu was able to lose the monster by faking a hard left at Shiddmoka River and then following the river right into the deep south of the Punkee Plains.
It was during the famine of the rule of King Burger when Arfdu wondered into the remote village of Arpankansta. Among the tribal peoples called Mushmen, Arfdu came to know a guru known as Master Kramp. This was the beginning of Arfdu’s warrior training. Arfdu spent 300 years learning the simple ways of the Mushmen. In the years of Queen Dairy, Arfdu graduated from Master Kramp’s Village Dojo. Now with his vast knowledge of the Mushmen and his new powers of Karate, Arfdu was ready to begin his mission, a mission he did not know.
Our hero withdrew from Arpankansta and the Mushmen and began a 200 year journey along the Punkee Plains. He braved powerful winds, monstrrous rain storms, tamed Neg Buffalo to ride. He swam through seas and outran Punkee Ostriches. He used his sword to cut through the Mawa forest, the Kug forest and even the mighty jungle of the MeMe. Small villages heard of him and tales spread. Villagers heralded him even though from time to time he would need to eat one of their children.
In the year of Cubas Waxas, Arfdu firnally approached and conquered the mighty Morok Mountains. After years of fighting the mountain dragons and swimming through lava flows, Arfdu came out of the Morok’s and into the city of Bithia . In all of his years he had never seen skyscrapers, asphalt or automobiles. He walked among the city people a complete foreigner and followed his instincs to a football stadium. Once and for all Arfudu found his mission, to play professional football for the Bithia Bores. After 10 straight winning seasons he was drafted by the Dallas Cowboys. And that was when King Arfdu came to Earth.

The End