If you get pains in your chest when you pass his house in the car, count to ten and breathe slowly. Now speed up, blast your music, and scream obscenities at the top of your lungs. If your song comes on the radio, I strongly suggest you change the station. When you dial his number and hang up five times in a row, call your mom instead. Memory lane is an ugly place to visit, lined with dilapidated houses that have been vacant for years and potholes in the middle of the street.

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