literally i have tried everything. today i am really happy and i started missing you a lot. like, the happiest i've ever been and i can't even talk to you. and i feel guilty for being happy. i hope you're happy. i hope for that a lot. everyone is reminding me of you. i don't even feel like me anymore. i don't exist as what i used to be. i'm a whole new entity. i don't even know why i'm writing all of this because you'll never even see it.

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