The Cold War might be over, but a secret watcher marshaled by New-era leaders is threatening to invade Western Europe, according to scientists.

First introduced to Night Clubs off northern Russia in the new era, KRSTYPRDRS is now spilling down Western Europe and spreading tones of decibel. Some fear this massive hero could reach as far as Europe and rest of the World, devouring almost everything in his path.

“He’s capable of spreading Bangers tunes and since some people are not ready for this, are likely to be affected.” say rumors. Studies show that he can also cause serious cerebral palsy.
“So far we have no indication of what impacts he will have on people mind and how serious any affects may be,” said a senior scientist at the Institute of Musical Research.