I'll be honest with you, kiddo.
We kind of messed up this joint before you arrived.
Pointless bloodshed? Systemic oppression of minorities? Exploitation of the working class? Hottest year on record? Donald fuckin' Trump?
Yeah, sorry. About all of it.
Some of it was like that when we got here, honest.
But either way, it's not really fair to make you clear up the mess.
So hear me out on this one: a giant meteor raining down death from above, wiping out all life on earth.
Ambitious? Yeah, but it'd solve those problems in one fell swoop.
On the other hand, you could stick this one out. You might want to invest some hope into the futile idea that there may be someone who can make your three-score and seven worth it. You do you, kiddo. I'm just putting the giant meteor option out there.

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