He just wanted to sleep. To close his eyes and drift into the snow. Ren wanted to forget this pain, this agony that he felt inside and out. For once, he wanted to embrace the quiet and just be… still.

He wanted to stop fighting for every breath. He wanted to stop fighting every broken impulse in his brain that screamed in his mother’s voice to “be good, Ben.” Just be good. Like it was so easy — like it was just so natural for him. He was not good. He was broken knuckles, split lips, and bared teeth.

Kylo Ren was struggle.

But in that moment, lying in the snow with the world crashing down around him, Kylo Ren wanted to be nothing.

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